Act 53 * LOVE
Source: April 2001 Lala
Summary by: didi
Let's try to make this short. ^^
The first page of the chapter looks like the opening scene of FLCL... A bridge overhead, and water... like a ditch, I guess... Kazuma's sitting on the grass, thinking, but eventually he falls asleep... He wakes up eventually and goes home, to find Tsubasa still awake. It's 4 a.m. and Tsubasa had just woken up from a 13-hour afternoon nap.. ^^; She then guesses that since he fell asleep outside, he probably isn't going to sleep yet, so she's going to have some company cuz she can't sleep. Is he hungry, she asks. Does he want to take a bath, does he want to take a bath together? ^^; He growls at her, blushing... and she's SD disappointed. "Yappari suki ni nachattanda", he thinks... which could either mean, "I really am in love with her" or "she really is in love with me" or "I really do like her"... Pronoun-less sentences are so vague! Argh! But I get the feeling that it's the first one... or that's what I gather from the context. He reflects that he was really happy being "siblings", but now he can't think of her as anything but a woman. She makes him some soup, but since it's so hot, he spills some of it. She mildly admonishes him for being a child, wiping the spill, and then wiping his shirt... to which, he blushes furiously, looking like a cat whose hairs are all up.. He's about to say he's had enough when their parents come home from work, after not having been home for a whole week... (Talk about workaholics.. ^^; ) He suddenly gets up and scolds them for not being in the house very often. The three are shocked cuz they've never seen him mad and he's never scolded them before... (them being the adults of the family, too.. ^^; )
He sleeps, but he wakes up to some of the morning sounds.... to find Tsubasa in his room by his bed. She's been bored cuz everybody went to sleep cuz it was only before dawn... He pats her on the head... then reflects that the heart must be made of liquid, because it overflows. His feelings overflow. He was happy being siblings but there's no use anymore. He can't do anything but give up. (Give up on what? His feelings for her?)
The next day, Kazuma celebrates with the other YinYang members for a successful summer, so they're having a private gathering at some restaurant. They're just talking casually, but Ushio notices that Kazuma hasn't said a word. So he asks Mr. Depressed what's wrong. Kazuma asks him if he's ever fallen in love, and the drunk Martin and Atsuya ask loudly if he loves his "little oneechan". Kazuma blushes and asks how they knew; it had been a secret. The others just stare at him, unbelieving. Ushio asks him if he's told her he liked her, since she obviously liked him. But Kazuma says he's not going to because he can't. Her love and his love were different. But he wonders to himself how she thinks about it. As they walk home, Ushio just hopes that Kazuma could bring his feelings out onto his singing. Atsuya just teases him, saying, "Ushio...... Why don't you just say honestly that you're worried about Kazuma? Out of all of us, you're the one who thinks the most that Kazuma's cute, right?" ^^;
On the other hand, Kazuma walks home, and as he's walking on the bridge, he looks down into the water. "It's overflowing", he thinks. The colors in his field of vision have changed. Where he used to see pale blue and white and sparkling rainbows, he's seeing red and black. (The dark, moody colors) He wonders if he's abnormal and if other people are still seeing what he used to see. He scared, feeling like he's drowning in his feelings. He puts a hand to one side of his face. And the ground starts to shimmer like water.. On th enext frame, you see him breathing out as if he's drowning in water, a hand to his throat.
On the next page is a dark Arima, unsmiling, with the full moon shining behind him. It looks like this image is glowing, illuminating Kazuma's face and he thinks that he knows now why he was so charmed by Arima-kun. That it's because he has the "madness" inside him, too. (OH, MY GAWD! ARIMA'S DARKNESS IS CATCHING! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!)
He eventually makes it home where he sees Tsubasa still awake. He asks where she's going this late at night, and she responds that she's been craving for some pudding from the convenience store, so she was going to go out. He scolds her, because it's late at night and she's a girl. What's more, is the outfit she's wearing. (She's wearing a spaghetti strap dress, and it doesn't even have a back! The strps just cross 'til it meets the skirt at the waist... Now, I don't care what season it is, it's got to be cold at night... Brrrr..) He says he'll go instead. Tsubasa's in awe at first, but then she smiles, happy for being scolded. ^^; Kazuma observes that she's not even reflecting upon what he said. But then she takes his hand and walks by him happily.
They get home to a Mom who's worried that something could have happened to Tsubasa cuz she wasn't home. But Tsubasa tells her not worry cuz she was with Kazuma. Kazuma then notes that he's going to take a bath and go to sleep. Mom and Tsubasa are just left standing there. Then, it looks like Tsubasa has a worried expression of realization on her face.
After his bath, she asks him if he's alright. He doesn't seem to be well, but it looks like he's just going to brush her off. But the look on Tsubasa's face makes him reconsider. "I'm just tired", he reasons. "I'm going to sleep." Tsubasa calls after him, saying that since his concerts were over, they could be together all the time again. But Kazuma slightly turns and says that he might not have any free time cuz there's a lot of other things to do. He walks up the stairs, Tsubasa looking after him, sadly.
The full moon rises high in the sky, and Tsubasa opens Kazuma's door part-way, asking him for permission to enter, but he says no. She asks if she did something wrong, because if she did and he told her, she'd apologize for whatever it was. He says it's nothing, that's he's not mad at her. She says he's lying because he can't even meet her eyes. He then reflects upon his cruelty. That he's nice to her one minute and then he thrusts her away the next, Tsubasa must be confused. He wants to be nice to her, to wrap up her lonely, insecure heart, but it's being held precious because she loves him.
He comes to from his reverie, as a sad Tsubasa holds him close. His face darkens, thinking "I'm going crazy." He shoves her away, and she lands on the floor, stunned, looking at him. He seems to be in shock over what he did, and runs away, with Tsubasa calling after him.
In an apartment elsewhere, Ushio and Atsuya are drinking, when somebody rings their doorbell. Atsuya wonders who it could be at this time of the night, but goes to answer the door anyway, threatening to kill whoever it was, if this was just a prank. But Kazuma's standing at the door, with tears running down his face. Ushio and Atsuya receive him, as he wipes at his nose. "Please. Let me stay here for a little while."
To be continued.......